Oh wow ... The last two days I've been in complete pain. I've forgotten how intense and rough water polo is. My first two practices have worn me out and made me dead beat and exhausted. It's mostly because I'm out-of-shape, but I have been pushing myself probably more than I should be. Thank god I have a whole weekend to recover! It also helps overcoming my pain because the coach is kinda cute ... but I shall not think that way whoops. I can't help it, he's a 21-year-old UW student.
My parents got all stern on me this weekend because of all the stuff I got in trouble with last weekend. I hope I'm only grounded for one weekend because I hate staying at home for a long period of time. I just feel trapped and I can't be with my friends. Maybe tonight I can escape that, or in other words, sneak out. I know I'm bad about that but if you lived in this house you would feel the temptation too because it's just too easy to leave.
In other news, I got accepted to WSU. It's crazy how I just sent my application in like less than two weeks ago and I already got accepted. I'm still waiting on my UW application. I don't know if I'm going to be accepted there. They would have to be pretty impressed with my essay if I did get accepted. I guess it comes down to if I want to be farther away from home in a smaller but crazy town OR if I want to kick it closer to home in a bigger city and school. hmmm tough decision. I guess I'll have to see if I get accepted first.
Alright getting tired of typing, but have a kick ass Saturday!
~BB
Don't let morals set you back in life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Thursday... nothing really new this Thursday. Except today I finally get to go to water polo practice tonight for my first time this year. I know I'm out of shape, but I miss being a part of a team so much because we all get close and it's just nice being able to play my last highschool sport.
Wow, that's sad putting it that way. I guess it's getting down to everything being my last for highschool. Soon I'll be saying "my last spring break in highschool," then "my last quarter in highschool," then FINALLY "MY LAST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL!" ... Scary thought but I think I'm ready for it for sure.
Even though I've been going to Bellevue for only a little over a year, I've gotten sick of it ... I need to move on to bigger and better things. Not pointing at the people in my life, but just in general. There's so much drama at this damn school. There's just some people that I've been around and I just don't understand sometimes. Things in MN just seemed so much more simple, I guess I haven't realized how much I really miss that place until I'm completely deprived from it. Honestly, here in WA, I don't really know where I fit in. I want to be friends with everyone, but Bellevue doesn't allow me to do that. Either it's this group, that group, or no one. Sorry if I'm always going back to MN, but where I used to live ("IN HAPKINS" as Jill would say) I felt like I could completely trust my friends and it seemed that we would always be together, but here in Bellevue it's different. Everyone watches what they say because they feel like they can't say too much, probably because it's hard to trust people here. That's a major thing I look for in a relationship, is if you're able to be open and honest with them, and by doing so, they know that you trust them and you have a special bond with them. Damn, I miss that so much.
Alright, I better get off to the H dub... exciting I know. But if any of you readers want to talk about anything, I will listen. It's just a phone call away.
IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW! Too bad I think I'm grounded this weekend. But there's always alternatives ...
~BB
Wow, that's sad putting it that way. I guess it's getting down to everything being my last for highschool. Soon I'll be saying "my last spring break in highschool," then "my last quarter in highschool," then FINALLY "MY LAST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL!" ... Scary thought but I think I'm ready for it for sure.
Even though I've been going to Bellevue for only a little over a year, I've gotten sick of it ... I need to move on to bigger and better things. Not pointing at the people in my life, but just in general. There's so much drama at this damn school. There's just some people that I've been around and I just don't understand sometimes. Things in MN just seemed so much more simple, I guess I haven't realized how much I really miss that place until I'm completely deprived from it. Honestly, here in WA, I don't really know where I fit in. I want to be friends with everyone, but Bellevue doesn't allow me to do that. Either it's this group, that group, or no one. Sorry if I'm always going back to MN, but where I used to live ("IN HAPKINS" as Jill would say) I felt like I could completely trust my friends and it seemed that we would always be together, but here in Bellevue it's different. Everyone watches what they say because they feel like they can't say too much, probably because it's hard to trust people here. That's a major thing I look for in a relationship, is if you're able to be open and honest with them, and by doing so, they know that you trust them and you have a special bond with them. Damn, I miss that so much.
Alright, I better get off to the H dub... exciting I know. But if any of you readers want to talk about anything, I will listen. It's just a phone call away.
IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW! Too bad I think I'm grounded this weekend. But there's always alternatives ...
~BB
Monday, February 23, 2004
K, so what have I done today:
I went to school after not being there for 9 days. That just sucked having to wake up early and go to class. No fun ... I can't wait until this whole school thing is over. I know a lot of all you other seniors feel the same way but out of all my years of school, this year has been my worst case of senioritis. I came home after school, grubbed up on some food, watched a movie , Blue Crush, I was going to go to the first water polo practice and just check it out but I was too lazy, and my dad told me not to because he was going to pay for it this year. So I didn't go and instead I've been talking online most of the time. This computer consumes so much of my time, but then again I didn't feel the need to get up and do something else.
My day wasn't too exciting though, except that I got a call from a friend that I met while she went to bellevue for like a month. I know its short but I got to know her and I might see her this weekend, which is nice. I like knowing random people and then having them surprise me by calling. It's definitely nice.
Well I think I've stared at this computer long enough to go do a little homework and then head off to bed, even though my sister is sleeping in it. Yeah that's just because my parents HATE it when we sleep during the day so she snuck in my room which is away from everyone. nice huh
I know it's monday but take it easy! Only 34 more days until the next break! WOOT WOOT!
~BB
I went to school after not being there for 9 days. That just sucked having to wake up early and go to class. No fun ... I can't wait until this whole school thing is over. I know a lot of all you other seniors feel the same way but out of all my years of school, this year has been my worst case of senioritis. I came home after school, grubbed up on some food, watched a movie , Blue Crush, I was going to go to the first water polo practice and just check it out but I was too lazy, and my dad told me not to because he was going to pay for it this year. So I didn't go and instead I've been talking online most of the time. This computer consumes so much of my time, but then again I didn't feel the need to get up and do something else.
My day wasn't too exciting though, except that I got a call from a friend that I met while she went to bellevue for like a month. I know its short but I got to know her and I might see her this weekend, which is nice. I like knowing random people and then having them surprise me by calling. It's definitely nice.
Well I think I've stared at this computer long enough to go do a little homework and then head off to bed, even though my sister is sleeping in it. Yeah that's just because my parents HATE it when we sleep during the day so she snuck in my room which is away from everyone. nice huh
I know it's monday but take it easy! Only 34 more days until the next break! WOOT WOOT!
~BB
Sunday, February 22, 2004
wow these past few days have sucked. I don't even know where to begin its too hard to explain. But I got to see my all time favorite people today and it made my day .. even though anything could because my day has been loaded with bad stuff. I hope I get to see my Mandy and Randy more often cuz they really do mean alot to me, considering I lived with them 12 years of my life.
But there has definitely been some drama going on in my life at this moment. Things between one of my good friends and I aren't the same anymore .. or maybe it was never what I thought it was I don't know. I'm confused where I stand there. it hurts when you find out some of the words brought up from people, when you never expected them to say it. And then I got shit from my sister from not picking her up when she needed me to, don't worry I heard it all from my parents in their little lecture. And then I have other drama going on, involving me of course. There's no need for me to go in that. And then my parents find out all the wrongs I've done this weekend, which I'm pretty good about. But of course they find out to add on to my all time worst weekend! It's been too much for one person to go through all within about 3 days. I hope things can only get better from here, even though every time I say that something else happens to make it worse ::Knock on wood::
Despite all of the drama and conflicts in my life right now, I'm blessed to still have my family from minnesota, and to especially see them this weekend helped make it better for me. Always there when I need them. Too bad I have SCHOOL tomorrow .. ugh I still haven't even done ANY homework at all ... and its almost monday in less than an hour. wowzers I just want to sleep thats all, leave the world, go somewhere where none of all this shit I'm going through exists ... ahh I'll survive.
I hope you all don't have a bad day from reading this ... ha ha good night
~BB
But there has definitely been some drama going on in my life at this moment. Things between one of my good friends and I aren't the same anymore .. or maybe it was never what I thought it was I don't know. I'm confused where I stand there. it hurts when you find out some of the words brought up from people, when you never expected them to say it. And then I got shit from my sister from not picking her up when she needed me to, don't worry I heard it all from my parents in their little lecture. And then I have other drama going on, involving me of course. There's no need for me to go in that. And then my parents find out all the wrongs I've done this weekend, which I'm pretty good about. But of course they find out to add on to my all time worst weekend! It's been too much for one person to go through all within about 3 days. I hope things can only get better from here, even though every time I say that something else happens to make it worse ::Knock on wood::
Despite all of the drama and conflicts in my life right now, I'm blessed to still have my family from minnesota, and to especially see them this weekend helped make it better for me. Always there when I need them. Too bad I have SCHOOL tomorrow .. ugh I still haven't even done ANY homework at all ... and its almost monday in less than an hour. wowzers I just want to sleep thats all, leave the world, go somewhere where none of all this shit I'm going through exists ... ahh I'll survive.
I hope you all don't have a bad day from reading this ... ha ha good night
~BB
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Wow reading all you guys' blogs really inspires me to write more. Like love and sex. My brother and I had a lot of time to talk while we were sitting in the car driving endless miles in wheat fields, as we were destined to visit colleges. We talked about love and how it's changed throughout the years. For example, love songs in the 1950's had a lot to do with being "in love" and phrases like "I can't see me lovin nobody but you" or "when I saw her face, now I'm a believer" or "I can't help myself, I love you and nobody else." Stuff like that was a little bit more meaningful than the kind of music that we live around today. There are some good songs out there that mostly about heartache, but not so much of that crazy in love feeling. More so just sex and drugs and cars is what some songs are all about. However, if you want to hear some good words of love, I would suggest mandy moore. I love her! She has some good songs out there, like "have a little faith in me" and "cry" and "crush on you" ... Yeah good stuff. Alright that's my shpeel on songs. But as for sex, my brother brought up a good point on how sex can be consumed in minds where that's all humans seem to think about in this world. Why is that? Maybe it's because you're on another level that you haven't been with mostly anyone else. Maybe it's just a feeling you want to relive everyday. Maybe you have nothing else to think about. I don't know what it is but I find sex to be at least 50% of what people talk about today, like they're about to get some or something. ha ha
Anywho, not too much news for today since it's still the mornin, but I know that I get to see my step family today! That was part of the reason why I couldn't sleep in this morning. I haven't seen them in a while and it hurts how life has ended up for me. I swear I've lived a pretty random and interesting life, not like most others, but its definitely been a trip. Ever since I moved over a year ago, my life has turned upside down and its been hard to change myself to live up to it. For instance, my parents. NEW PARENTS is probably one of the toughest things I've had to deal with. New rules, New expectations, No trust since I haven't lived with them, Different things that get them upset ... etc etc. Another is a new school and environment. I'm not going to go too much into this because I've talked about it before but its definitely been hard to regain the friendships that I have and MN and that I yearn for here in WA. These two states are VERY different that's all I have to say.
Anyway, I keep getting distracted ... phone rang, music blastin, sister on my back. AHH and I gotta clean up for my fam, whos about to be here in a couple hours! whooo hooo
I might write later, but I'll probably be busy so have a GREAT saturday everyone.
~BB
Anywho, not too much news for today since it's still the mornin, but I know that I get to see my step family today! That was part of the reason why I couldn't sleep in this morning. I haven't seen them in a while and it hurts how life has ended up for me. I swear I've lived a pretty random and interesting life, not like most others, but its definitely been a trip. Ever since I moved over a year ago, my life has turned upside down and its been hard to change myself to live up to it. For instance, my parents. NEW PARENTS is probably one of the toughest things I've had to deal with. New rules, New expectations, No trust since I haven't lived with them, Different things that get them upset ... etc etc. Another is a new school and environment. I'm not going to go too much into this because I've talked about it before but its definitely been hard to regain the friendships that I have and MN and that I yearn for here in WA. These two states are VERY different that's all I have to say.
Anyway, I keep getting distracted ... phone rang, music blastin, sister on my back. AHH and I gotta clean up for my fam, whos about to be here in a couple hours! whooo hooo
I might write later, but I'll probably be busy so have a GREAT saturday everyone.
~BB
Friday, February 20, 2004
Ahhh! Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my daily blogs but it seems that every time I have something to say my computer freezes and then I'm too mad to even look at my computer. I'm recovered now hopefully ha ha.
wow SO MUCH to say ... This is going to be a long one folks...
SO Friday the 13th was the beginning of break and it felt awesome. I love knowing that I don't have to go to school for another 9 days! Too bad its almost the end of it for me now. Valentine's day was pretty chill. I just hung out with my other single friend and we went to the movie and saw 50 first dates ... I really liked that movie. I don't usually like drew Barrymore as an actress but it turned out pretty well - I think I almost cried! Yeah so anyway that was the end of that night and Sunday I didn't do too much I don't think - memory loss. Monday was the first day I started to visit colleges ... blahh. I saw UW during the day and then I packed it up to go with my bro for 2 days and visit central, eastern, and WSU. I liked central because its a pretty neat small town and I definitely liked WSU because it's big but not HUGE, nice recreation center, NICE swimming pool, Greek system, big on sports, good reputation ha ha so I'm really thinking about that, but its hard deciding exactly what I want to do for the next 4 years of my life! ANYWAY, I got back on Wednesday night, played some basketball with a group of friends, which I'm still sore from. Thursday, my step mom got her citizenship official and she's no longer an alien... Damn I always thought she was regardless if she was born in Ireland. Then again, that's like another planet over there - I mean people drive on the wrong side of the road and they're all skinny! ha ha yeah ... Friday is today and I got home about an hour ago from visiting western Washington university. This college seems really quiet and calm and kinda gloomy, which was surprising to walk into because the school is pretty big -13,000 students. I didn't get too good of a feel as I did for central and WSU though. Oh yeah I forgot to mention eastern .. I don't like that school anyway so no need to go on. Damn... Enough school for this week! Tonight I hope I can go out if my dad will let me. I hate being grounded. grrr
This weekend, I have my sister, mandy, and step-dad, randy, coming in from Oregon! I'm super excited to see them, considering that I lived with them almost my whole life and now I don't get to see or talk to them as much at all anymore. It's sad I know but I can't control it.
Well, I do have more to say but I'm done typing for the night ... My hands need a rest ..
have a good one
~"big bird"
wow SO MUCH to say ... This is going to be a long one folks...
SO Friday the 13th was the beginning of break and it felt awesome. I love knowing that I don't have to go to school for another 9 days! Too bad its almost the end of it for me now. Valentine's day was pretty chill. I just hung out with my other single friend and we went to the movie and saw 50 first dates ... I really liked that movie. I don't usually like drew Barrymore as an actress but it turned out pretty well - I think I almost cried! Yeah so anyway that was the end of that night and Sunday I didn't do too much I don't think - memory loss. Monday was the first day I started to visit colleges ... blahh. I saw UW during the day and then I packed it up to go with my bro for 2 days and visit central, eastern, and WSU. I liked central because its a pretty neat small town and I definitely liked WSU because it's big but not HUGE, nice recreation center, NICE swimming pool, Greek system, big on sports, good reputation ha ha so I'm really thinking about that, but its hard deciding exactly what I want to do for the next 4 years of my life! ANYWAY, I got back on Wednesday night, played some basketball with a group of friends, which I'm still sore from. Thursday, my step mom got her citizenship official and she's no longer an alien... Damn I always thought she was regardless if she was born in Ireland. Then again, that's like another planet over there - I mean people drive on the wrong side of the road and they're all skinny! ha ha yeah ... Friday is today and I got home about an hour ago from visiting western Washington university. This college seems really quiet and calm and kinda gloomy, which was surprising to walk into because the school is pretty big -13,000 students. I didn't get too good of a feel as I did for central and WSU though. Oh yeah I forgot to mention eastern .. I don't like that school anyway so no need to go on. Damn... Enough school for this week! Tonight I hope I can go out if my dad will let me. I hate being grounded. grrr
This weekend, I have my sister, mandy, and step-dad, randy, coming in from Oregon! I'm super excited to see them, considering that I lived with them almost my whole life and now I don't get to see or talk to them as much at all anymore. It's sad I know but I can't control it.
Well, I do have more to say but I'm done typing for the night ... My hands need a rest ..
have a good one
~"big bird"
Ahhh! Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my daily blogs but it seems that every time I have something to say my computer freezes and then I'm too mad to even look at my computer. I'm recovered now hopefully ha ha.
wow SO MUCH to say ... this is going to be a long one folks...
SO friday the 13th was the beginning of break and it felt awesome. I love knowing that I don't have to go to school for another 9 days! Too bad its almost the end of it for me now. Valentine's day was pretty chill. I just hung out with my other single friend and we went to the movie and saw 50 first dates ... I really liked that movie. I don't usually like drew barrymore as an actress but it turned out pretty well - I think I almost cried! yeah so anyway that was the end of that night and sunday I didnt do too much I don't think - memory loss. Monday was the first day I started to visit colleges ... blahh. I saw UW during the day and then I packed it up to go with my bro for 2 days and visit central, eastern, and WSU. I liked central cuz its a pretty neat small town and I definitely liked WSU because it's big but not HUGE, nice rec center, NICE swimming pool, greek system, big on sports, good reputation ha ha so I'm really thinking about that, but its hard deciding exactly what I want to do for the next 4 years of my life! ANYWAY, I got back on wednesday night, played some basketball with a group of friends, which I'm still sore from. Thursday, my step mom got her citizenship official and she's no longer an alien... damn I always thought she was regardless if she was born in Ireland. Then again, thats like another planet over there - I mean people drive on the wrong side of the road and they're all skinny! ha ha yeah ... Friday is today and I got home about an hour ago from visiting western washington university. This college seems really quiet and calm and kinda gloomy, which was surprising to walk into because the school is pretty big -13,000 students. I didn't get too good of a feel as I did for central and WSU though. oh yeah I forgot to mention eastern .. I don't like that school anyway so no need to go on. damn... enough school for this week! Tonight I hope I can go out if my dad will let me. I hate being grounded. grrr
This weekend, I have my sister, mandy, and step-dad, randy, coming in from Oregon! I'm super excited to see them, considering that I lived with them almost my whole life and now I don't get to see or talk to them as much at all anymore. It's sad I know but I can't control it.
Well, I do have more to say but I'm done typing for the night ... my hands need a rest ..
have a good one
~"big bird"
wow SO MUCH to say ... this is going to be a long one folks...
SO friday the 13th was the beginning of break and it felt awesome. I love knowing that I don't have to go to school for another 9 days! Too bad its almost the end of it for me now. Valentine's day was pretty chill. I just hung out with my other single friend and we went to the movie and saw 50 first dates ... I really liked that movie. I don't usually like drew barrymore as an actress but it turned out pretty well - I think I almost cried! yeah so anyway that was the end of that night and sunday I didnt do too much I don't think - memory loss. Monday was the first day I started to visit colleges ... blahh. I saw UW during the day and then I packed it up to go with my bro for 2 days and visit central, eastern, and WSU. I liked central cuz its a pretty neat small town and I definitely liked WSU because it's big but not HUGE, nice rec center, NICE swimming pool, greek system, big on sports, good reputation ha ha so I'm really thinking about that, but its hard deciding exactly what I want to do for the next 4 years of my life! ANYWAY, I got back on wednesday night, played some basketball with a group of friends, which I'm still sore from. Thursday, my step mom got her citizenship official and she's no longer an alien... damn I always thought she was regardless if she was born in Ireland. Then again, thats like another planet over there - I mean people drive on the wrong side of the road and they're all skinny! ha ha yeah ... Friday is today and I got home about an hour ago from visiting western washington university. This college seems really quiet and calm and kinda gloomy, which was surprising to walk into because the school is pretty big -13,000 students. I didn't get too good of a feel as I did for central and WSU though. oh yeah I forgot to mention eastern .. I don't like that school anyway so no need to go on. damn... enough school for this week! Tonight I hope I can go out if my dad will let me. I hate being grounded. grrr
This weekend, I have my sister, mandy, and step-dad, randy, coming in from Oregon! I'm super excited to see them, considering that I lived with them almost my whole life and now I don't get to see or talk to them as much at all anymore. It's sad I know but I can't control it.
Well, I do have more to say but I'm done typing for the night ... my hands need a rest ..
have a good one
~"big bird"
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Today was a pretty chill day. Tests, homework, cramming, debate, and a little skip was what my school day consisted of. After school, the weather was surprisingly nice out and I couldn't resist my eagerness to go out there, so I decided to do so by going on a jog. I love going on jogs because it gives me time to think about things going on in my life and look past that with a good feeling of satisfaction. After that, I showered up and went SHOPPING for once! Even though I didn't get anything, it was nice helping my friend out finding stuff. Usually, when I go shopping, I like to go by myself just because if I know what I want, I'll end up spending a long time in a store, and it feels like I'm dragging the people who are shopping with me around everywhere. I do love having second thoughts on clothes though.
After all that fun stuff, my brother from NY tells me to download this thing called "skype," found at skype.com, where you can literally talk to people on your computer by downloading it for free. It works worldwide, so if you use up minutes talking to your friends and whatnot, if you both have computers, I strongly encourage to download it! It's like having a talking computer! My SN on there is birdizzle420 if you ever end up trying it out!
Anyway, last night as I said, I was talking to my aunt Leslee from MN and we had a good conversation about moving in general. She moved when she was a junior to a whole new school in a different state. I feel I can relate to her strongly in that way because she can understand anything that I'm going through that has changed for me since my move. She sent me a poem she wrote after she moved to her new high school and I thought it would be crazy if she could track it down and send it to me so she did:
Alone As One
It's hard you know,
to leave your home
And wind up where,
you're all alone.
Where people hate you
because you're new,
And friends are scattered
very few.
But there are some friends
who really care,
They may be few,
but always there.
So I guess I'll stay here,
for awhile,
And maybe in,
a little while
People will like us,
some
And we won't be,
alone as one.
I thought this was pretty cool so I had to mention it!
Anyway, its almost 11:30 and I still have homework to do! Thank god tomorrow is Friday and I won't have to go back to school for another week after that ... It's going to be soo nice! Have a good night my fellow readers.
~MB
After all that fun stuff, my brother from NY tells me to download this thing called "skype," found at skype.com, where you can literally talk to people on your computer by downloading it for free. It works worldwide, so if you use up minutes talking to your friends and whatnot, if you both have computers, I strongly encourage to download it! It's like having a talking computer! My SN on there is birdizzle420 if you ever end up trying it out!
Anyway, last night as I said, I was talking to my aunt Leslee from MN and we had a good conversation about moving in general. She moved when she was a junior to a whole new school in a different state. I feel I can relate to her strongly in that way because she can understand anything that I'm going through that has changed for me since my move. She sent me a poem she wrote after she moved to her new high school and I thought it would be crazy if she could track it down and send it to me so she did:
Alone As One
It's hard you know,
to leave your home
And wind up where,
you're all alone.
Where people hate you
because you're new,
And friends are scattered
very few.
But there are some friends
who really care,
They may be few,
but always there.
So I guess I'll stay here,
for awhile,
And maybe in,
a little while
People will like us,
some
And we won't be,
alone as one.
I thought this was pretty cool so I had to mention it!
Anyway, its almost 11:30 and I still have homework to do! Thank god tomorrow is Friday and I won't have to go back to school for another week after that ... It's going to be soo nice! Have a good night my fellow readers.
~MB
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
SOO much to say today I don't know where to start! Well, I guess I could start off with my morning. So I guess my dad took me to school again this morning which didn't go too well. He started flipping out over something stupid and it made everything else that he's pissed off at me about relevant. I wanted the car ride to be peaceful, and merely just get to school, but he seemed very tense and was looking for anything he could deprive me from. It hurt to hear what he said and I couldn't help myself from crying because of his strong feelings. So I guess my morning didn't go too smooth for me. But everything everything else that went on in my day seemed to only get better from what it was. I actually enjoyed my classes today for once, even though I get stuck with the homework. But after school, I go online, something I can't help myself from doing every day, and I read my friend, katie's blog. I was so lightened that she was inspired from what I've said so far in these blogs. I realize that people are all human and are looking for the same things in this world for the most part, for example, food, warmth, shelter, fitting in, money, love, being loved etc etc. Throughout all the drama, including backstabbing, gossips, judging, and making fun, everyone is human. We've all came from the same place living here on the same earth. I know its obvious but some people seem to forget that and end up hurting people or feel more superior than others. It's sad that the world has come to be this way but I've learned to accept that because I can't change people. I even find myself having these feelings and I know that I need to give everyone a chance, no matter if you're the loser, dork, shorter than me (HA), retarded, gay, new to the school or anything that makes you different or unique from the "norm."
So anyway, hearing what my good friend had to say in her blog literally made my day! Another event that got me to feel better about myself and my day was going to the dentist. It was just like any other dentist appointment I've had, but the people working there really made a difference this time on my visit. As everyone working there knows my large family, they always have something to say while I come for my visit. For instance, the dentist cleaning my teeth was complimenting me and I guess it just made me feel soo good. Sometimes people just need a jumpstart to get them to feel good about themselves.
Later tonight I got a surprising call from my Aunt Leslee, who I haven't been talking to as much as I should. But it was great talking to her about all my problems, and not having to hide anything from her just because she's an adult, because I know that she's felt the same way as I have at one time in her life. It's nice being able to have someone to talk to and always be there for you no matter what. That definitely made my night. To top it off, I got a call from one of my all time favorites, my bud Christine. It just felt like it was a sign that I do have people that are there for me and care.
Looking back at this morning, I know that my dad was very upset at me, which got me to be very upset with him, but I'm looking past that now, realizing that it doesn't matter in the big picture anyway.
Wow a lot of talking today and not so much homework! But I would rather get bad grades and be happy, rather than getting good grades and being unhappy. Until next time, I hope you all have a great night!
~The Big Bird
So anyway, hearing what my good friend had to say in her blog literally made my day! Another event that got me to feel better about myself and my day was going to the dentist. It was just like any other dentist appointment I've had, but the people working there really made a difference this time on my visit. As everyone working there knows my large family, they always have something to say while I come for my visit. For instance, the dentist cleaning my teeth was complimenting me and I guess it just made me feel soo good. Sometimes people just need a jumpstart to get them to feel good about themselves.
Later tonight I got a surprising call from my Aunt Leslee, who I haven't been talking to as much as I should. But it was great talking to her about all my problems, and not having to hide anything from her just because she's an adult, because I know that she's felt the same way as I have at one time in her life. It's nice being able to have someone to talk to and always be there for you no matter what. That definitely made my night. To top it off, I got a call from one of my all time favorites, my bud Christine. It just felt like it was a sign that I do have people that are there for me and care.
Looking back at this morning, I know that my dad was very upset at me, which got me to be very upset with him, but I'm looking past that now, realizing that it doesn't matter in the big picture anyway.
Wow a lot of talking today and not so much homework! But I would rather get bad grades and be happy, rather than getting good grades and being unhappy. Until next time, I hope you all have a great night!
~The Big Bird
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Wow I'm making these blogs like an every day thing ... I just have something to say everyday I guess. So last night I was just finishing my homework and then I talked online. It felt good to talk to people after a hard day and it was just what I needed, so I guess that wasn't a "pain in the ass." But anywho, today I was like a zombie because I had only gotten like 5 hours of sleep in the past two days and I was beat .. I don't know how I made it through the whole school day but I did. Then I just crashed when I got home ... which was exactly what I needed. My parents have been nagging at me though to not sleep right after school and blah blah but I couldn't hold them to that. I was just way too tired to listen to them.
Well, anyway, it's a Tuesday, and the school week is going by so slow, especially since we have a week off next week! Yep, mid-winter break, I've never heard of it in my life until I moved to WA, but its nice. I like the extra break right now just because I don't have to worry about school for another week, but also I can just have space to do whatever I want! Some people are going out of town, and I guess I am but I'm going to visit all the colleges I applied for plus more. It'll be a trip, because I guess I'm supposed to go with my brother to WSU, eastern, and central, but I really want to bring someone else with me just so that we can have fun and not focus my entire trip on school stuff, that would suck.
Since it's Tuesday though, I have to get to my homework which is a major pain, I just don't understand these teachers sometimes... Whatever, nothing I can do about it. Have a good night to those of you reading this!
~big bird
Well, anyway, it's a Tuesday, and the school week is going by so slow, especially since we have a week off next week! Yep, mid-winter break, I've never heard of it in my life until I moved to WA, but its nice. I like the extra break right now just because I don't have to worry about school for another week, but also I can just have space to do whatever I want! Some people are going out of town, and I guess I am but I'm going to visit all the colleges I applied for plus more. It'll be a trip, because I guess I'm supposed to go with my brother to WSU, eastern, and central, but I really want to bring someone else with me just so that we can have fun and not focus my entire trip on school stuff, that would suck.
Since it's Tuesday though, I have to get to my homework which is a major pain, I just don't understand these teachers sometimes... Whatever, nothing I can do about it. Have a good night to those of you reading this!
~big bird
Monday, February 09, 2004
WOW ... Today has probably been THE most miserable day I've had! Ok so last night I didn't go to bed until 2 because I was doing other stuff and then this morning I wake up late and my dad decided to take me and my sister to school again (Usually I take the car but sometimes he needs it ... I think just to upset me). So I get to school way early and I'm like half asleep because I barely had any sleep last night. By sixth period, I'm about ready to FALL ASLEEP and I probably would have if it was for the FIRE ALARMS! Yeah apparently someone thought it would be funny to set the boys bathroom on fire and the deafening fire alarms rang at its best as the result. Man, I still think I have those fire alarms ringing through my head with this crazy headache. ANYWAY, of course I had to stay after-school because my sister had a counseling appointment with my dad and it lasted for like an hour. At that point, I was just ready to go home and crash... But as soon as we're all ready to go, my sister thinks she needs a chiropractor... AHH so my dad gets her an appointment right away and of course he doesn't have enough time to drop me off so we end up going straight there... Now this is where I go just about insane. As my dad said it wouldn't be that long, well it ended up being 2 hours long! And I had to wait for them the WHOLE time. As I'm pretty tensed up and in crabby mood with a terrible headache after the two hours I waited, my dad wants to go to tacobell, I just about had it but I tried to keep my cool and I'm glad I did. So they take their grand slow time eating while I'm "peacefully" waiting in the car like always for them and I realize that its getting dark out and I won't have time to sleep like I planned because I got homework! FINALLY, my dad and my sister get done eating and we leave for home. I didn't want to freak out like I said so whenever my dad tried to talk to me I was just like "I don't want to talk about it right now, I'd rather have it quiet" and the whole ride home he was commenting and asking me questions like always... OH WHAT A NIGHT! I just got home and its 7 pm and I'm pretty angry at my dad right now but I'll get over it. Wow this blog is really therapeutic! I'll keep you posted if anything else has made my day more of a complete pain in the ass. Until then, I would appreciate the IM's! Its just another manic Monday!!
~The Big Bird
~The Big Bird
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Its a Sunday and I don't want to do my homework! So I thought that I would make a fantabulous blog instead.
My weekend was not too bad but not too good either. Friday was awesome except someone stole $50 from me! So if it was you, you better fess up! nah but I'm still pretty heated about that. I guess its my own fault though because I should have kept a better eye on where my purse was. It's kind of sad though how people have to steal money in order to have some. I think it shows the kind of people they really are and it lets me know that I can't trust everyone in this world. Oh well life goes on. And then Saturday was pretty laid back for me. As many people from my school went to the tolo dance, I decided not to go and just chill this weekend. I know I'm a party pooper but I guess I'm just shy asking a guy to a dance. But don't get me wrong, I definitely want to go to prom so maybe guys won't be so shy as me about asking. So my weekend was ok. Nothing too exciting.
Anywho, I thought I would mention the colleges I'm applying to. Yes, I still haven't turned them in yet, well except one, but I have this tutor now and she's been helping me out MAJORLY, especially not making me a procrastinator. I'm so bad at that, so she gives me deadlines on when to turn in everything, which is good for me, because its like having another class and I hate being unprepared for it. So I got one school out of the way, UW, and I still have Washington State, Western University, and Eastern to go. Well it's more like putting my personal statement into the application because I've done everything else. I'm not thinking about going to Eastern because I don't really want to go there but my tutor, along with my parents, wanted me to so I am. AHHH enough of my future of going to school again!
Besides thinking about my future and all the homework I have to do today, I also think about the people in my life. Yes friends are great and I don't think I could possibly be the person I am without them, but I really wish I had a significant other, ha ha or a boyfriend, especially through the last semester of my senior year. Being single is totally fine with me, but I just wish I had someone to depend on as a partner, someone to get to know better than anyone, and someone to just be with. I know some of you reading this think the same way, so I know I can't be crazy I'm thinking this. And if it doesn't work out with me anytime soon, I still have college and the rest of my life so I don't worry about it too much. But I think that there is at least one person in this world that is meant to be with you. For some people it may be more than one person that is right for them, because I don't think that you can just not love anyone else if that one person dies. So I know there has got to be someone out there for me. It's all about finding them.
ALRIGHT, enough love talk, I got to stay focused with my h dub.
~ Big Bird (my new nick name)
My weekend was not too bad but not too good either. Friday was awesome except someone stole $50 from me! So if it was you, you better fess up! nah but I'm still pretty heated about that. I guess its my own fault though because I should have kept a better eye on where my purse was. It's kind of sad though how people have to steal money in order to have some. I think it shows the kind of people they really are and it lets me know that I can't trust everyone in this world. Oh well life goes on. And then Saturday was pretty laid back for me. As many people from my school went to the tolo dance, I decided not to go and just chill this weekend. I know I'm a party pooper but I guess I'm just shy asking a guy to a dance. But don't get me wrong, I definitely want to go to prom so maybe guys won't be so shy as me about asking. So my weekend was ok. Nothing too exciting.
Anywho, I thought I would mention the colleges I'm applying to. Yes, I still haven't turned them in yet, well except one, but I have this tutor now and she's been helping me out MAJORLY, especially not making me a procrastinator. I'm so bad at that, so she gives me deadlines on when to turn in everything, which is good for me, because its like having another class and I hate being unprepared for it. So I got one school out of the way, UW, and I still have Washington State, Western University, and Eastern to go. Well it's more like putting my personal statement into the application because I've done everything else. I'm not thinking about going to Eastern because I don't really want to go there but my tutor, along with my parents, wanted me to so I am. AHHH enough of my future of going to school again!
Besides thinking about my future and all the homework I have to do today, I also think about the people in my life. Yes friends are great and I don't think I could possibly be the person I am without them, but I really wish I had a significant other, ha ha or a boyfriend, especially through the last semester of my senior year. Being single is totally fine with me, but I just wish I had someone to depend on as a partner, someone to get to know better than anyone, and someone to just be with. I know some of you reading this think the same way, so I know I can't be crazy I'm thinking this. And if it doesn't work out with me anytime soon, I still have college and the rest of my life so I don't worry about it too much. But I think that there is at least one person in this world that is meant to be with you. For some people it may be more than one person that is right for them, because I don't think that you can just not love anyone else if that one person dies. So I know there has got to be someone out there for me. It's all about finding them.
ALRIGHT, enough love talk, I got to stay focused with my h dub.
~ Big Bird (my new nick name)
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Alright, my first time blogging. Its kind of hard to know what to start off with but I think I'll start with my challenging move to WA. As many of you reading this know, I came from the happy town of Hopkins, MN, home of the Vikings and of 10,000 lakes. I had a pretty good life: a job, great friends, awesome sports, kick ass school, etc. Even though my family was going through some messed up times with my moms alcoholism and whatnot, I wasn't going to let that effect the life I've made for myself.
But, in the end, it didn't matter because my family split up anyway and my dad in WA took me in as a full time resident. At first I was psyched to start over with new friends, new school, a new life, but it wasn't until after I moved that I started to feel the loneliness that my life in MN never had. Especially coming into the middle of my junior year, everyone already had friendships that have lasted from years prior and it was hard making friends towards the end of my highschool career. Well, I'm sure most of you know that in highschool, there are cliques and certain groups of friends, so it was hard being friends with everyone. I felt that I needed to stick with one group. So I found myself hopping groups of friends. I found my weekends being very random in that way because I would be hanging out with different groups of friends every weekend and I wasn't used to that. I missed my solid group of friends in MN because we were all so close and almost nothing could take us apart.
Not only did friends have a MAJOR impact on my move and my life, but having a new set of parents and guidelines to follow by seemed pretty difficult. In MN, I didn't have to worry so much about being home by a certain time. But here, my parents don't give me that. Sometimes being home at 12 just doesn't work with me, so I found that sleepovers and occasionally sneaking out was a way to work around those rules. I also found that I'm more dependent on my parents and people in WA. In MN, I supported myself financially and usually found my own rides. But in WA, I find myself asking for money a lot more often along with rides from my parents. In that sense, I miss working and providing myself with my own money, so I'm still in the process of finding a job in order to do that.
Now that I look back on everything that I've been through, I know that I've changed my life almost completely, but I'll never forget the people in my life in MN, as I go back to visit on occasion. As far as my future goes, I've been looking at colleges within WA, and I don't know if that's exactly what I want to do. I figured if I wanted to go to a college outside of state, like Minnesota, I knew that I can always get into a community college and gain residency and then transfer to another college after a semester. I've really been thinking about that and its definitely hard and scary not knowing what I'm going to be doing 7 months from now. I'll figure it out though ... I hope.
Wow I wrote a lot and I still have a lot more to say but I guess there are other times for that. It's showa time for me!
"Until the cookie crumbles,"
This is Mikaela signing out
But, in the end, it didn't matter because my family split up anyway and my dad in WA took me in as a full time resident. At first I was psyched to start over with new friends, new school, a new life, but it wasn't until after I moved that I started to feel the loneliness that my life in MN never had. Especially coming into the middle of my junior year, everyone already had friendships that have lasted from years prior and it was hard making friends towards the end of my highschool career. Well, I'm sure most of you know that in highschool, there are cliques and certain groups of friends, so it was hard being friends with everyone. I felt that I needed to stick with one group. So I found myself hopping groups of friends. I found my weekends being very random in that way because I would be hanging out with different groups of friends every weekend and I wasn't used to that. I missed my solid group of friends in MN because we were all so close and almost nothing could take us apart.
Not only did friends have a MAJOR impact on my move and my life, but having a new set of parents and guidelines to follow by seemed pretty difficult. In MN, I didn't have to worry so much about being home by a certain time. But here, my parents don't give me that. Sometimes being home at 12 just doesn't work with me, so I found that sleepovers and occasionally sneaking out was a way to work around those rules. I also found that I'm more dependent on my parents and people in WA. In MN, I supported myself financially and usually found my own rides. But in WA, I find myself asking for money a lot more often along with rides from my parents. In that sense, I miss working and providing myself with my own money, so I'm still in the process of finding a job in order to do that.
Now that I look back on everything that I've been through, I know that I've changed my life almost completely, but I'll never forget the people in my life in MN, as I go back to visit on occasion. As far as my future goes, I've been looking at colleges within WA, and I don't know if that's exactly what I want to do. I figured if I wanted to go to a college outside of state, like Minnesota, I knew that I can always get into a community college and gain residency and then transfer to another college after a semester. I've really been thinking about that and its definitely hard and scary not knowing what I'm going to be doing 7 months from now. I'll figure it out though ... I hope.
Wow I wrote a lot and I still have a lot more to say but I guess there are other times for that. It's showa time for me!
"Until the cookie crumbles,"
This is Mikaela signing out
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