I woke up this morning and I couldn't open my eyes! I pried the lids open with my fingers. They crusted over the night before. I looked in the mirror and they were puffy and red. ahgggg ... every fucking spring this happens. I don't mind it right now though. There's ALOT of drama in my life right now, and I'm glad I have another complaint on all the things that are wrong in my life to use as an outlet from the drama that has gravitated towards me. Was that a run-on sentence? whatever.
My manager just called and wants me to work allllll day today and not just half with compliments of lunch and dinner. I guess I have something going my way so far today. Tuesdays suck I realized. Wedged in there between monday and wednesday. There's nothing to look forward to and nothing to look back on. It's a big BLAH day.
My goal today is to not answer my phone. No texting. No calling. No answering. I want to pretty much exist today with a structured routine. I feel like a dead person walking today. You don't need to watch out for me... I won't even be there when you see me.
GOD: I wish you had the power to rewind my life. I think I've been corrupted and I don't know how to be an innocent young being again. I wish I could just let go of all the things that are supposed to make me stronger, but weak as hell at the same time. I just want to lay in the grass with the sun as a blanket on my skin, then begin with a head start, JUMP and land in crystal clear water. WATER. No human on this earth can live without it. I certainly can't. I find water satisfying. You jump in holding your breath about to experience a complete change of body and soul than what you were just in a moment ago. The water hits your hands and works its way to your toes in the matter of a second. You eyes open at the surface and you let go of your breath. You're renewed... pure. In the water you can do anything you want. Be a mermaid if you wish, or a fish. Doesn't matter... You're away from everything else in your life. Thats all that matters.
FUCK. I want to go swimming. forget my world.
later days.... :/