Last thursday turned into such a long day for mikaela bird. After a long, but succussful day of work, sarah wanted to go out and have fun. Since she was my ride I really didnt have a choice even though I really just wanted to go home. ... beggers can't be choosers right? SO, we end up going to a bar in kirkland... I take in drink after drink... to keep myself up and ready to go. When I got to a state in mind where I was pleasantly drunk but still tired as hell, I go outside to smoke a cigarette alone, and call the man of my dreams. I begged, I bribed, I pleaded for him to take me away. All I ever wanted was to see him and it really became an issue for me that night. He confirmed that he was coming but made some excuse so that I had to wait. I waited. and waited. No call back. During that time, I leave with my good friend Eli and leave all my other girls behind, knowing they had their own destinations of partying that night. Hours and hours go by and we're all still up and hanging out. It really was a good time for me. We got to know eachother better as friends... we had one of those nights where we both went through out childhoods and how hard it was growing up for the both of us. It was nice saying it to someone that could relate and seemed geniunely interested in my past. But still, I was hurt that I didn't hear from bryan and he didnt follow through once again. I wasn't mad though. I can't be with him. He just means too much to me. Finally, I get back home at 4 or 5 in the morning and pass out. I couldn't really pass out until 7 because of everything that went on, knowing that I had work at 10:30 the next day.
Friday, oh man, was a hard working day for me. I can't explain how hard hosting can be sometimes. All the servers seemed to be extra bitchy to me, I think they just needed someone to blame for the fact that it was a very busy and an almost unbearably humid day. I tried making everyone happy but hey sometimes you cant change the fact that theres 5 slow old grumpy 70 year olds coming in, or a family with 5 kids and a screaming baby, or teenage kids that are cheap and snotty as hell... Along with that bringing me down today, I worked 11 hours the day before and had only 2 hours of sleep. no joke. I was BEAT starting from when I woke up. I sleepwalk into work and try sooo hard to sustain my eyes from closing. I was a zombie... but somehow, alot of mountain dew and screaming voices around me kept me going. I was fine, I had a few good times in my day where people were actually being accepting as a human being and everyone seemed to have been getting good tables. then I crashhh...
the next host comes in and I bolt for anything to lay on. I find a cement floor in the break room. Heck, that was good enough for me. I could hardly walk at that point. I got a good hour and a half of sleep and wake up to sarah's phone call.. I answer half asleep and actually cozy on the chalky hard floor to her telling me I had to go back to work. The rest of the night after that was HELL. I was tired. I just wanted to go home. But I kept trying and sucked it up. Every server seemed to have something negative to say every table I sat them. I was sexually harrassed that night, we had to kick the guy out actually. I dropped a glass and it broke onto a little boy, that made me feel horrible. I was cleaning a table and out of nowhere this squirming, nasty bug appears. THEN, on top of that, I get yelled at my manager for not being motivated enough.
I finally got out of the hell hole at around 10:30 and sarah was tired as well THANK GOD, so we get home to our beds calling out our names. I passed out so fast and didn't wake up until the next day of working.
ok, I just don't want to talk about work anymore.... I worked 40 hours this week and I'm DONE... haha well until tomorrow. But still... I can relax and enjoy this time away from the RB.
In between all the chaos this weekend, I thought about my mom alot. I miss her alot sometimes and when life gets tough she always seems to come floating to the top of my head. I was explaining to this older man that came into work that I wanted a tattoo of her on my back. I really want to do this and I've been thinking about it for so long. I just think she is alot of me, more than I knew. If I had a tattoo to represent her on my body, it would be something I would never regret. I cried on friday thinking about it, after coming home from that stressful day. And on top of that, all the bills I have to pay off, and how much my life has changed to make it more difficult to live... it all just seems to boil down on me when I have one of those trying days I guess. I had to let it all out.
SATURDAY, I work my second day of 11 hours, which seemed to go by a bit more smoothely, and after I find a ride home with a server. I spend my saturday night smoking a joint with him and having a few beers, while conversing about the ways of men and women. This really is meant for another blog but to sum it up... we both analyzed the brains of the two genders and how they function. We came to the conclusion that if a guy thinks a girl is attractive, they usually start pushing buttons to see how far they will let them go. If she backs away, they know not to go further or to take it slower... OR if they react positively to the mans sly ways, its alllll game and turns into a wild night. OK, then there's the type where if a guy really likes a girl, they tend to either not bring out their personality or avoid them because they are afraid of being rejected by that on single person. "Hey, you can get blown off by attractive looking girls, but if you actually really like her and care for her then youre terrified of rejection so you avoid all oppurtunities where theres a chance of being rejected" is what he said. I can believe that too. BUT STILL, inside a womans brain is like "what the hell are you doing?? I'm still waiting for you to ask me out... (wandering eyes) oh hes kinda cute." I realized women can get distracted easily if they aren't getting some sort of dominating moves from a man, that is if they are not sure if they like this person... they're looks are in... but does the personality match? Women, believe it or not, go for personality more than many might think.
I could keep typing the conversation we had ... but we were indeed high and we went on for a while about it. Shit though, everyone loves talking about the opposite sex... it's intriguing for our young, naive minds.
Now I'm here, it's sunday. I worked earlier today, which was so low key that I hardly worked. I had a good time goofing off thats for sure. I was supposed to go out on a boat today but it just didn't work out so I came home... and fell asleep. now, I'm about to take a shower as I ponder if I should continue drinking beers until I pass out again or if I should actually go out ... hmmm.
Anyway, until next time ... later thoughts
M
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