Pondering moment.

It's funny how life works sometimes.

For so long I never saw the world around me; I just saw myself in it. I would be right in that moment, but I would never take a step outside of it and see it for what it's worth. I now look at all my experiences and the pasts I have created with random people and nod my head. I'm satisfied with them, but not anxious to make more of it anymore I guess. I suppose I'm just looking, or maybe limited to what I really want in my life, whatever that may be. Life was so simple at one point for me, and then one day it turned. I no longer had that close-knit group of friends. Life just kept moving, as much as I wanted it to just freeze in that one moment. I've had so many experiences like that. I never wanted it to end. But now I know that all good things must end. I am alone from start to finish, no matter how much I wish to repent against it. I am essentially nothing, with the possibility of anything and everything I want to be. I hate to be deputy downer, but that's the reality of it, right? Naturally, I always wanted to forget that factor and fixate myself in another situation so that I can freeze in that moment of contentment, but reality always has its' ways and always crashes down on me. As I realize that, I crave for a new experience to brighten my day. Something to take me away and give depth and value for what my life is worth. I'm not saying that it has to be someone, but maybe something. A new start, a new path, a new direction, a new life could do just fine. However, a single person could just do the trick. I suppose the word I'm looking for is stability. I love the thought of being a team, and knowing that we're all not in this alone, as much as I know it's so true. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.

sigh... time to sleep.