I haven't done this in a lonnnnnnnng time. I actually got a good nights sleep last night with the assistance of the almighty mary jane.
It was cool. I smoked a bowl and said goodbye with my friend/neighbor/work buddy because he was priviledged enough to pack all his bags and drive to california without lookin back. then I left his apartment and went back to mine thats a building away. I sprinted to my place, grabbed some ragu and went up to my balcony. then as he was driving on his way out of here forever, I poured it on his car!! haha he flipped out. stopped looked around and kept driving. but shit I would too if a bunch of red shit just came flying on my windsheild out of the sky!
so yeah. I passed out at about TEN after that. I was so happy for myself. I wanna do this more often.
One thing thats pissing me off right now is I have this ring on my finger, but I CANT GET IT FUCKING OFF!! I tried, I pulled really hard... usually I've been able to get anything off. but no not this time. its stuck. And the worst part about it is.... the fake diamond stud fell out so now it really looks like a peice of shit and I hate having to look at it while I type damnit!
I went shopping yesterday. I got about everyone in my family christmas presents! too bad its costing over 300 bucks. Im so fucked. ahh I love giving though. I think I might buy some more shit too because we get our paychecks on monday! hahahahaha yeha.
my aunt hates me right now. well just disappointed because about 3-4 monthes ago I was in money trouble and she was willing to help me out and loan me 1000 bucks to pay off all my bills. I was having trouble with my bank at the time and we were just moving into our apartment. man though we did not think things ahead. I told her I would pay her off but I've been having to save up every time I get a paycheck and then pay it all off. so now I'm not getting a christmas present from my aunt like I always do and I always look forward to her presents that come every year too. shes like the cool aunt that works for avon and has all this make-up, scents, clothes, and skin products to give me. its like catching up. shiaat. oh well. I'm sending her money back soon. hopefully. I'm trying. life sucks when you dont gots no mooola.
I'm in such a good mood today. haha and everything in my life should be putting me in a shitty mood too! I superwoman though and I can over-power any negativity today.
except for bryan. bryan makes me sad thinking about it. weak too. especially right now. he's about to have an operation tomorrow and its not 100 percent that he will recover fully. I'm praying and hoping and wishing and using whatever spiritual powers that I possibly have so that nothing happens. He's comes out of it a healthier, better. I want him to be healthy. "when youre in pain, I'm in pain." I miss him every second I dont have spent with him. its sad. but hes really showing me what love is. I'm scared and I don't even want to say it with this fucker yet because we havent even MET yet. but I really do LOVE him. it feels good saying that about him. I hope he doesn't let me down AGAIN. afffffter christmas... the end of waiting for the good or the worse will uncover. I'm scared its not going to but I gotta let this whole waiting shit burn out. its wearing me down.
ALRIGHT... I'm STILL in a chipper happy mood still! yeah yeah except I'm still looking at this nasty trashy ring still on my friggin finger. I'm just going to go and have it disappear in the lather I'm about to put on my hair... itsssss showa time!! oh yeah.
later doooooods.
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