Dear Aunt Leslee,

Throughout my childhood, I have seen my mother be such a lively, vibrant, magnetic soul to a fearful, lost woman with the look of death in her eyes. I have came in the way of life or death with her when she felt like giving up. I let anger that I felt stay on the back burner while I wrapped my arms around, what seemed to me, like a little girl that never could find the love she craved. I didn't want her to feel like she was ever alone. If anything, she still had me. I thought my love would be enough to keep her from killing herself.

But now, all that's left is her flawless, laughing image in my head.

She's gone and I still feel like she was there yesterday, being the best mom I know. She let herself go because she had no more control. She couldn't wake up and realize that she meant the world to me. She was my best friend; my hero in so many ways. I have learned to humble myself with unconditional love for others as she always had for me. I let the little kid come out in me, just like it did in her, just to show people that life is short. I miss her so badly and that will never go away. The laughter and joy that I bring into my life now is in remembrance of what she gave me. The first thing I had ever learned from her.

Until the day she died, she still had a smile on her face telling me that she was just fine and everything will be alright. She shut out everyone in her life but her two little girls. Even you read the letter. She said, "if I continue doing this, I will die." She knew she would, and that's the hardest part to understand. Why would she let go of this precious life? Why would she just let it all go? They say you fall seven times, so get up eight. FIGHT for you life. It's so beautiful yet all you see are the clouds. It hurts me beyond words to hear that you're giving up. I cry because I want you to live. I don't want to lose another close family member of mine to this.

You carry such a light and happiness that my mom, your sister, had. You have been there for me like I was your own daughter since day one. You have such a strong, independent attitude about you that reminds me to let go of my weaknesses. Your support through all my bad times has helped me become more of a better person. You are one of the few things I have left to remember her by. Please, don't die.

I love you so much.

Love,

Miki