A Songwriters' Favorite Feeling

This is me. This is probably you too but you just can't admit it because you're too ashamed or embarrassed of what people might think.

I was given a journal when I started getting an opinion about everything, riiight about the good ol' ripe age of 10. Ever since then, I haven't stopped. Any frustrating moment where I couldn't speak my peace, it was straight to the journal. Then when I got older and got a computer... my journal entries turned into a big blog that became a reality show of my life.

Honestly, everyone is not perfect (well maybe my other Aunt and her family that has never missed a Sunday morning church session). You can't expect someone like me, knowing my past and what I have seen, to keep everything bottled up and pretend like it never happened. I can't help but spill the beans every once in a while. I figure, it's better than starting a pointless fight at a bar, curling up into a ball and becoming depressed because I have no one to talk to, or becoming a prostitute or something along those extreme conditions.

I am just simply speaking what it is on this mind of mine. Everyone has two sides to their side. One side is telling them "you're an idiot. Just give up now and save yourself from the agony" and the other side is saying "be free. Let those bad thoughts go and do what makes you most happy" ... whether you like it or not, those bad thoughts will remain. One of my beloved friends likes to think of her bad thoughts as gory suicide missions on paper. I'll have to admit, it's quite hard to read. Whereas, a few of my other friends and family, well maybe more than a few, like to drink their sorrows away. Sometimes I don't blame em. I'm even guilty of that but have been veering away from that scene slowly. A lot of times, I get friends coming to me and are asking for advice. Bravo to these folks. These guys, especially in the long run, are more open-minded, pleasant, and coachable people to be around. And there's nothing better than having a coachable friend that needs the coaching. I find that the quieter ones are more likely to drop the big bomb every so often. Those are the ones I tend to watch out for. They get so short-wired after a while that it seems like no matter what anyone says, they'll get irritated. I hate to say it, but it's like my sister. I could say one thing that wouldn't upset anyone but her and she'll go off on me, just because it came out of my mouth. I hate to see it happen and I wish she wasn't so uptight but that's the luck of the draw, I suppose.

What really hits the nail in the head is writing for me. DUH, I know. Granted, I still do a little this and a little that to ease the pain, but writing has always stuck around for me. I'll even take breaks here and there when I'm feeling lazy and don't want to write down those thoughts, but then I'll get a wild hand that won't stop typing. Once that happens, I take off into the bloggers' imagination. It's like a songwriters' favorite feeling.

Alright people out there, I'm out for the count. Another late night blogging session bites the dust.

Peace and Love, M