Wow, what a weekend. After everything that I've gone through, I just need to learn from it and move on. I'm not going to smoke anymore for the time being. All it does it just fuck me up and get me in trouble, especially during my water polo season. As far as drinking goes, it's been a big issue in my family knowing that my mom was an alcoholic and died from it. I don't want to end up like that so I just need to be more aware of what I'm doing and if it's smart. I'm not saying that I'm not going to drink anymore, I just need to have my limits.

It's kind of been bothering me how people come up to me or IM me asking why I'm not acting sad about my mom passing away. I am deeply hurt by what has happened and changed in my life, but I'm not about to isolate myself from everyone and cry until I can't anymore. I'm not that kind of person to let life pass me by while I just sit around. Don't get me wrong though, I let myself out at the service as I saw all of the people that were there for her and supported me and my family. It was tough to get through because I was so emotionally effected, along with many others that were there. Her life just passed by way too fast. I've had to cope with what has happened knowing that it was out of my hands. It was weird though that I coincidentally talked to my mom the night before she died... I didn't talk to her since winter break before that last conversation. I love my mom very much and dedicate this day to her as it is Mother Day. I'm missing her a lot right now.

Oh man, I haven't done any homework this past week, but to be honest it really hasn't really crossed my mind or had a big importance to me. I just know that I'm out of shape for water polo. I haven't been to practice since Monday. Tomorrow will be interesting when I go. Hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day, which I hope you all took the time to acknowledge and perhaps celebrate. G'night all...

~BB