Oh man... Where to begin....

This week has been tough to get through and it will effect the rest of my life. Last Monday was a normal day for me. I went to school, came home and got ready for water polo practice. Before I could though, my dad comes running in the house all shook up. He starts to cry and was at a loss for words. My first thought was that my grandma had died. She has been going through very rough times lately and I'm so proud she's made it through for this long. So I ask him, "Is it grandma?" He shakes his head and quickly he replies, "It's your mom girls, I'm so sorry." At first, I didn't know what to say since it came at such a surprise. I really thought my mother was getting back on track and she still had many years ahead of her. She was so young, but her decisions that she made shortened her life more than anyone knew, even herself. I started crying because that was the only thing I could do or feel. I didn't see it coming at all though. I talked to my mom the night before. She was very loving and was anxious to see me for my graduation. It just didn't make sense to me. The rest of the week went by with more ease. This past year and a half, my mom has barely been in my life because I've tried to stay ignorant and away from the person she had become and I grew to not like. I still loved her very much, and looking back, I wish I had more opportunities to spend time with her or at least talk to her. Instead, I know she was hurting since she couldn't see her daughters every day like she used to. I know that she's not hurting anymore though now that she's in a better place, it's just me that's hurting now.

Thursday morning, my sister, dad and I flew down to Minnesota to be there for my mom's funeral. It was nice seeing everyone and being in my home town after so long. The next day, Friday, was the service for my mom. During the day, we gathered pictures of her and put it together in two big displays so people could remember her. It was a nice day spending it with my family and of course the greatest friend in the world, Christine. I know she had lost her mom too about a two years ago, and I was there for her so it was nice that she was there for me, along with my other great friends who came to the service: Casey, Becky, Liz, Jimmy, Care (Claire ha ha), and Carples. Thank you so much for your support, and of course to everyone else! It's nice to have people here in Washington that are here for me as well. I really appreciate your care and understanding. I just hope the teachers at school will too...

Well, I'm about to get my long hair cut and hopefully it turns out alright! More to say later...

~BB